Martin Breen November 23, 2014 – Posted in: Our Photographers

“My story is not as serious as the homeless people living on the streets every night in Dublin.  My situation started late October 2014 when I returned to Dublin after working in the UK for about 5 years.

While I was away my children were put into care, I returned hoping to build a new relationship with them, when I first returned I stayed with my son for a few weeks but as he had his own private life and a girlfriend it was not practical for me to be sleeping on his sofa. So I had to go homeless, at first I found this situation hard and difficult to come to terms with, while I was trying to seek accommodation in homeless shelters and talking to the main authorities, they were telling me they could not help me and it would be better for me to return to the UK, they told me they would buy me a ticket if I wanted to go back, but my focus was my children, so I decide to stick it out no matter what.

I was sleeping rough for about a month in the Phoenix park as I did not feel safe in the city, and thought I could cope, I was hiding my few belongings in the bushes and thought no one would find them, so I would not have to carry them around with me all day, but as things go I returned one afternoon and all my belongings had either been removed or taken, so I had nothing.  Then I started to call a free phone number and started staying in one night hostels, this was also another experience, I was very nervous at times as I was sleeping in a room with up to 20 other people, who a lot were either drunk or had or were taking drugs of some kind, so it was very hard to relax or sleep at times during the night, as sometimes a fight or argument would break out, then as you had to be in a hostel by 9pm latest and had to leave by 9am, then you have to spend all day walking around as you have nowhere to go, then I was very lucky to get a room in the Iveagh Hostel, now I have my own room and somewhere safe to sleep, but I am surviving there not living a life as I would like.

I still have nowhere that my children can come and visit me as there are no visitors allowed on site, so if I am lucky they will meet me in town for an hour a week, have a chat and quick bite to eat, sometimes it’s depressing when you sit in your room, it’s hard to get motivated and your mind races round and round, sometimes you think thoughts you would not dream of, but you have to snap out of it and think you are lucky to have what you have, as there is always someone worse off than you.

My experience in photography started about 3 years ago while I was out with a friend, and I was lucky enough that they gave me a cannon EOS 70d SLR, and slowly I started going out for a day or even a walk for a few hours, to places I would not normally go, I would sometimes take hundreds of photos and spend a few days trying to pick out the best ones, I was big into scenery and wildlife, not so much people or street art, but then sometimes you look around and find something unusual to shoot. But since I came back to Dublin I have had to sell my camera and my small digital camera for money.

There was a time when I worked in the UK that I was full of confidence and tried to enjoy life and what was around me, but over the last year I have lost my confidence and become very withdrawn, I spend more time in my room than I do outside, I used to go out every day for a walk even in the rain, just to have something to do and clear my mind. But when you get so low it’s very hard to find a way back, but you have to keep fighting every day and hope something good will happen. My hope for the future are that I can find my own place and have my children visit me for dinner and chats and maybe stay over the odd weekend, save money to buy a new camera and try restart my life for the better, so I pray every day for a better outcome, without faith there is no hope.

 

What’s the one thing someone could do to help you?

The main one is to help me find a landlord that would take HAP payments so I can rebuild my family life with my children, and hopefully one day see them out of care, thanks again martin.

M Breen.”

View Martin’s photos here